Back to. . .well. . . it isn't quite reality!

Nothing racks the brain (and the emotions) worse than returning to the hum-drum routine of "normal" life after a weekend in a place that you love to be. It's a confusing feeling - energized and excited about what life holds in the coming months and at the same time longing to return to where you were just moments ago. 

 

i am sure that up here in the great white north folks must be tiring of hearing my constant chattering about community. About the benefits of living together and serving one another while learning to invite Jesus to work through us. About finding a much more sustainable way of living by stripping away the excesses of individualism (and by this i mean ownership, and not personalities!). About regressing technologically in some respects. . . so as to unclutter landfills and make even our refuse more ecologically friendly. About simplifying and spending more time devoted to relationships and less time devoted to our affairs with our televisions and computers (ironic isn't it - but hey, i am at work). Still i dream of community forming and growing. i dream of brother and sisterhood developing in new depths of love even here in New England. i dream of a love that cancels out debts and provides enough for one another and an excess that flows out and over to those in need. A contagious love.

 

And hope remains.

 

In our time with our dear friends we had many conversations about how we should live and how we struggle to find that. We spent some time reflecting, and we spent some time stacking boxes, unstacking boxes, talking politics and the economy (no big suprise there given the season) cooking, washing potatoes, looking at rocks, and leaves and red efts, and singing. . .

i will give a more thorough report in the coming days, but now we are back and i am excited about the future. Yes winter is fast approaching. In fact i just saw on the news that parts of New York were buried under a foot of snow. . .i hope Bellvale was spared :-)

There are a slew of projects around the pharm to do, the turkeys are getting big, the chickens are laying and we have the food pantry and deer season to keep us busy for the time. . .

 

i love this time of year!!!!!

 

 

It's alive!!!!

OK, it's not alive, but IT IS DONE!!!!!!

All most two months to the day that we undertook this silly project we have finally completed it. . . and just in the nick of time. The roof has been water tight, and likely snow tight for two months, but it was never finished. With much thanks to the Kurtz, the Breards, the Bevins, the Mcleods, the Hogans (of course), the Morelands, and Chuck (the wonder engineer!) we were able to get the roof up on that first weekend. Alas, Mr. roof delivery guy forgt to give us twelve feet of flashing. A month later he delivered us a replacement ten feet. . . oops! Then Last Friday an extra ten foot section of rake edge came. Oh the joy! (Not to steal an expression from some old explorers).
Amy, Chris and i got up, did some tweaking, some installing, and some caulking (please cure, please cure, please cure, please cure!!!) And all of this as the temperatures have suddenly dumped, and snow is forcast for Wednesday morning.

So now i move into two plus weeks of vacation with one major project off of the books. God be praised. Autumn is here and now i feel like i can finally sit back and enjoy it.

The Big Five are just two weeks away from meeting their "processor" so to speak. That will be another huge relief. We are currently going through just over 150 pounds of food a week between the chickens and the turkeys. When the Hogans move they will take twelve of the birds, but the bulk of the food is being eaten by the Big Five. So it won't completely eliminate the need for feed, but it will help quite a bit. One of the major upsides is that all of that feed going out will finally be coming back in. Though i confess it has long been a goal of mine to raise a turkey that was forty pounds dressed weight, i don't believe i have done it yet. Our current record is 38 pounds. We will see if we can at least match that. The other turkeys (those that we aren't using to start our own flock should be ready to go by Christmas).

That's all for now. . . off to bed. Hurray!!!

One stalwart maple. . .

It's October, not that i have need to remind anyone, but it feels an
awful lot like late November. The wind smells different. It finds it
way deeper into the bones than a normal wind. The undergrowth is dying
back and forests are clearing, and the leaves are turning. We are very
near what the tourism folks like to call "peak foliage". Meaning that
the most leaves have turned to reds, oranges, and yellows and the like
at the same time. It makes for extraordinary beautiful sunsets. This
time of year while the sun dazzles while tucking into the horizon, the
opposite horizon gives it's best effort to rival with a glowing
bronze, lending to the notion that the whole skyline is ablaze.

On our way to work tonight, Jessy and i stopped for coffee, and there
near the coffee shop was a lone maple standing resolute in it's
longing to hold onto to summer. It was a modest little fella, not
standing more than twelve, or so feet tall and not yet possessing that
imposing canopy of some of it's older brothers and sisters. One might
miss it were they not paying too close attention.

This is the time of year when my usually hyper-obnoxious nature gives
way to an equally irritating melancholy. The ol' mind tends to dwell
on what was, mourn what isn't to be this year, and curse the coming
cold. i would diagnose it as seasonal depression, but this is my
favorite time of year. . .the harvest is in, the forests are passable,
the wildlife is scurrying around preparing for a long nap (lucky
buggers!!). This year is already proving to be tough. my dreams have
been tormented as of late. The Hogans are just days away from moving
and it will be lonely in the house again.

The last size months have allowed me to take stock in where i am, and
where my family is. This has been a time of putting our money where
our mouth is and bringing the reality of life in (tight) community to
bear along with the honeymoon dreams of it. i have to confess that our
report card doesn't afford the marks that i would have liked. Our time
together has brought to light our weaknesses (as well as our
strengths), and stretched all of us in many directions. We have had to
face variables and obstacles of every kind. And in many ways we
succeeded. We have made amazing friends and watched each others
children grow. i can say that i have not had a friend as close as
Chris in a great many years.

i am exceedingly thankful for our time together and now i hope that we
can take inventory of what we have learned about ourselves and grow
from it. Who knows what the future holds. . . only God is good.

Missing God. . .

Tonight was wonderfully inspiring.
i have allowed God to sit on the back burner for far too long. It is one thing to believe or not to believe, each person has to make their own decision about that. It is completely different to believe and not to do anything with it.
i wish that i was a better orator. More often than not i am ill-prepared, when i am not ill-prepared i am absent (or wandering) minded. When i am not that i am just hopelessly lost in life. Tonight it fell on me to "moderate" and i was the perfect mix of all of these things. In the long run the conversation went directions that i didn't intend, and probably i said things that the were interpreted completely differently than i planned. In the long run i drew out of it as much and perhaps more than some of the others. i definitely didn't intend to make it about me. . . but i think that is where it went. Some good statements were made though. Really they were truths that i have thought about for a long time that finally got verbalized in a great way (i didn't say any of them - that was icing on the cake).
The Church is the gathering of disciples of Jesus. We come together to share how Jesus is moving in our lives - and that encourages us, and iron sharpens iron. This being a new and enlightened age perhaps it should be titanium sharpens titanium.
After we fell to chaos (we were done talking anyway) i was taking out the compost from the kitchen, and i sang. It was the first time that i have worshiped -really worshiped- in a long time. i forgot that i missed it. i forgot that i missed God. i know that i am not a disciplined man. i know that there is so much of me that is not broken. i know that there is so much of me that will never be broken because i am not disciplined enough to be broken.
i have found that as i seek God through being the Church, rather than being part of a greater organized collective. Not that there is anything wrong with belonging to the organization, i simply have found a glass barrier that needs to be conquered so as to find a new depth to God. It is hard though to find the balance of living and belonging. Maybe that doesn't make any sense. . . i don't know.
i do know that i miss God, but he has never been farther than right there, i just have to open my eyes and love
On a closing thought. . . the garden wasn't wholly unproductive. Yummy goodness lurking in our backyard. i enjoy finding God here at home. Peace, Love Joy, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness and Self control. . . and sewing, hoeing, growing, and just sitting back and watching in amazement at all creation.
.