Thursday, December 18, 2008

If cattle and donkeys were carnivorous. . .

Christmas would be about breakfast in bed!

In a culture of bigger and better sometimes it is hard to think that the first Christmas poor (well until the Magi showed up with all the bling-bling). A young couple shacked up with the critters in the barn. A baby delivered, and for lack of a well prepared nursery with just the right colors, baby safe furniture, a baby monitor and fleece blankets he slept in the next best thing. . . the cows cafeteria tray! Sounds fabulous (OK maybe ghetto-fab)!

Definitely the birth scene appropriate for a king, and without a doubt the most picture perfect conditions (by our First World standard) for the son of God. That first Christmas definitely set the scene for the magnanimous Christmas celebrations and tree trimmings that children around the world wake up to in this day and age.

And this leads into one of the many reasons i love my wife. She is creative and an outside the box thinker. With Christmas coming we were still without even a tree up until yesterday. i was gung-ho to go get the biggest tree we could find. Leave it to my wife to suggest that we take the Monterey Cypress tree that we have been growing the last couple of years. By modern Christmas standards it is barely a modest little tree, worthy of Charlie Brown - it's branches can't support many of the ornaments that we have for it.
In many ways though, it reminds me of the first Christmas. It is small, seemingly weak, yet amazingly beautiful. Unlike the other Christmas trees which are dead (yes you evil revelers decapitated them ;-), our tree is very alive and growing. In all of it's simplicity it doesn't distract us from what is beautiful about this time of year. . . giving, loving each other, dancing (or trying really, really hard to get dizzy and fall down), and spending time together.
Plus. . . as you can see, we can still fit gifts beneath it. Gifts more precious than gold, frankincense or myrrh. Just please don't tell DHHS. . . (OK that was a joke. . .you can tell them if you want).

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Grace. . .

OK, so the pictures have nothing to do with grace. . . but i have amazingly beautiful children! So there.

Darth Sissyous - Dark Lord of the tubby!

i had the pleasure last night of having a two and one half hour pow wow with the number two in my department. Ninety five percent of our session was me being informed that i represent everything that is wrong with our department. As it turns out if you work for certain branches of the government it is expected that you wont think, critique or vocalize ideas that maybe don't agree with the thinking of the powers that be. There is also the expectation that life exists with lesser importance than the job, and family friends and all of existence should come to a screeching halt when they need you.

Now for what it is worth, yes it is an important job that should (yes, i do mean 'should be' and not 'must be') be staffed all of the time. i also gleaned from the meeting that i have become (at work) someone that i don't necessarily like very much. Still i was ticked!
After about 10 hours of stewing (and i am writing this to help myself to decompress and organize my own thoughts) it became clear that grace in an easy environment is not all that impressive. The real miracle of grace is it's existence and indeed it's growth in environments that would kill any other good.
This doesn't make it any easier, but it does make it more necessary. i have to wonder. . . is the difference between Jesus and a doormat (i have often heard arguments as to whether Jesus was one or not) is that Jesus was silent in face of persecution when he had the power NOT to be, and a doormat is silent without the power to defend themselves. Hmmmm. . . .
Passion flower progress soon to follow. . .

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Thursday night

i am supposed to be at work at the moment. i was scheduled for a training tomorrow but it got cancelled tonight. Usually i work Thursday night, but in light of the training they gave me the night off. Then they cancelled the training and didn't bother to call anyone till 7:30 pm. It was then that i was told that i could either get forced into work or use benefit time. Circumstances as they are (i haven't slept yet today) i can't work. . . so i took the night off. i hope i actually have the benefit time to spend. It's all good. i am public enemy number one at work right now anyway.
Homeschooling - probably not actually one word, but then maybe it is. i should look into that. i am home the bulk of the daylight hours, but Amy (the educator) is still wholly in charge of the kids education. i just play proctor. i was never good at things like English, math. . .blah, blah, blah boring. Science, history, social studies,civics. . . now there is some fun learning.

Today with the freezing rain and sleet coming down, we decided to take advantage of technology in the house. James has been really key on bald eagles lately, so today we studied bald eagles. James wants to call the president and ask if we can rehabilitate and raise eagles. i think it's brilliant.
Christmas, the cultural bad habit seems to be coming slowly to the house this year. In fact Amy is not all that hip to getting a tree (though i may strongly disagree). Still we are thinking a lot about giving, and Jesus birth, and living in faith. It is a strange transition from the Christmases from my childhood. my greatest hope is that the kids really come to appreciate the light of Christmas more than celebrating Christmas-lite!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The dismal reality of my job in the season of joy. . .

Where is light -

A child peeking through the curtain

From backstage -

Fires rage,

Famines drape themselves,

Across the land,

Disease feasts on the innocent,

Arrogance and ingnorance -

Those insidious brothers –

Lurking beneath the shadows of the moon

And doubt.

Mother and father belie the hollow grief

As they gasp to make their cries heard

From the bottomless bottomness

Of hopelessness

Yet feign confidence for their children

From their driveway of ashes, smoke and tears

The plate of dust and emptiness

The bed of medicine and death.

Where is light

That beaming smile

That infant's giggle

The warmth of spirits embracing

A chuckle amongst strangers.


Monday, December 8, 2008

If you can't laugh at everybody, you can't laugh at anybody

Well, winter is here. . . at least the cold bit.
Mother nature has tried tossing some snow at us a couple of times. We even had accumulation twice. But then as though the planet were bi-polar (!?!?!) it snapped into a warm spell and everything melted.
It's been quiet around the pharm - its too quiet. In a lot of ways we have had to reinvent ourselves as a couple, and as a family. To that end we have been discussing a lot with the children how we should carry on. What traditions we have developed together with the Hogans that we like (singing before meals together is one), and what things we might change.
Amy and i planted a passion flower together :-)
Amy had the brilliant idea to photograph it everyday so that we could later make a collage of it's growth.
More amazingly, last night we went to a concert together!! i can't remember the last time that i went to a "real" concert (coffee shop events don't count). Thanks to our good friends Dan and Nancy we went to see Jeff Dunham. Yup, the ventriloquist guy. At first i was a little worried. When he finally came out on stage (some guy fell and THRASHED his leg just after the opening act) he was tanked!!! i was worried that the puppets were more coherent than he. But as he got going . . . i needed Advil at the end. i don't think i have laughed that hard in a loooooong time!!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Happy Thank-Christma-ka!

Putting aside some of the controversial dualities of Jesus and his division between being both God and Man; Christmas is an amazing time to reground ourselves.

This season really could be combined into one long holiday rather than the two independent holidays of Christmas and Thanksgiving. Looking back at Jewish holidays, and in fact many holidays that originated in the Middle East they seldom last only a day – many last for a week or more. In reality our last autumn and our first winter holidays celebrate the same thing. Granted Christmas has taken on a number of different meanings over the last several centuries if you look deeply into both it and Thanksgiving, at the core of the each it the common theme of "giving".

At Thanksgiving time, we often think about being thankful. But look again at the title of the holiday. Thanksgiving is as much about giving as it is about being thankful. We can be thankful about anything with the wrong motives. Being thankful is important, but as the title implies, the day is about GIVING thanks. And to whom do we give thanks, and for what reason. There is deeply reflective element to Thanksgiving that I believe is often overlooked. There are so many things that we can think of to be thankful for on the surface, but does this thankfulness resonate to the deepest center of our beings. No one will ever be able to question us when we are sincerely thankful for something. Our thankfulness oozes from every pore and is evident to all. In contrast we can be thankful (or say that we are thankful) for a great many things on the surface, but do our actions betray a subdued sense of gratitude? Rather than a deeply felt, sincere thankfulness, do the things that we give thanks for require thought and suffer from a watered down "easy-answer syndrome"?

What about Christmas? Thanksgiving is a holiday of thankfulness and Christmas is the season of giving. While this is very true there is a deeper connection between these holidays and a stronger, more painful sense of giving than the Church has celebrated in a long time.

During the Christmas season we celebrate Jesus birth. We celebrate the beginning of a promise - the renewal of hope. We celebrate with song, and lights and think of shepherds and angel choruses. We carry on the tradition of providing gifts as the "wise men" gave, but there is something lost in translation about those lavish gifts. With all of our focus on babies and angels and glitter and giving we miss an opportunity to ponder a greater gift than gold or myrrh. We miss the practical reason for those gifts and we completely overlook the gifts given to the wise men, and indeed to the Church.

So why make it a month long holiday? This is the season that even Scrooge dips into his pockets to help a needy neighbor – a trait that would be fabulous should it find its way into our everyday routine, something that the Church should be celebrating year round. At the food pantries we see something precious and rare - full shelves. Clothes are collected for the needy, people offer a hand of hospitality, the elderly shut ins are visited and serenaded with carols, and it all really starts a few weeks before Thanksgiving carrying on until Christmas day, and sometimes a little beyond.

At the beginning of our month long celebration we give thanks and then we turn our attention to the giving that is at the center of Christmas. Jesus' physical life began with a gift, and ended with a gift. In many ways the cross was an easier gift than the manger. At the cross Jesus suffered a temporary spell of pain and suffering (and don't get me wrong – it was no picnic), but he could do so with perhaps a subdued excitement. For in His death he returned to His glory. He resumed his place at God's right hand, never again to leave the presence of the Father – and this after only three days (again . . . not like three days at Disneyland). At the manger however, he had to leave all of that. He had to separate himself from being in the direct presence of God the father, he had to become mortal. To feel pain, cold, hunger, to become "a little lower than the angels", and that for thirty three years. He had to give himself to the pain of having God the Father to look away from him while he submit himself to the most shameful of deaths. All of this given freely and willingly . . . by a king!

It is not a birth that we celebrate, but a gift – a complete gift. A gift of one's whole self. Beyond this amazing gift an ordinary man would have nothing left to offer, but God had more, he offered us redemption, healing, and a restored relationship with our creator.

Secondly he offered us our very first lesson – faith, an underlying theme that I was never taught during the Christmases of my youth. We hear of his meeting with the teachers of the law at an early age, we hear of his early ministry as a young man, but we should not overlook that he was teaching us about his nature and how we should live from the very beginning. A huge part of his gift to us was to give up his sovereignty, and humble himself, trusting the Father to provide everything for him. He was born into near poverty which adds a sometimes forgotten significance to the gifts of the Magi. The gifts of the wise men were not just random gifts from them, but provisions from His Father.

A king who had everything, surrendered himself completely to teach us to trust the Father, and the Father evidences his faithfulness to us by providing. Out of poverty, and the life of a blue collar worker, Jesus was always provided for. In our Christmas stories we often leave the manger scene and then pickup again in Egypt, but we never ask ourselves, how a peasant carpenter funded a surprise spurred of the moment trip from Israel to Egypt. The answer . . . God sent men with gifts at just the right moment to cover the costs of a trip to protect the One that he sent into the world. Jesus always had exactly what he needed, and often more than he needed. From that wealth he shared, and was able to provide for others. We never hear of Jesus panicking about where he might get food, or water, or lodging for the night. We read of a man who was content, calm, trusting in God, and God provided for not only Jesus, but also his companions again and again.

Not every person was called to live in poverty, as Mother Theresa, not everyone is called to live in community shunning personal property, not everyone will taste material richness – what is important is that we live in a manner, whether in poverty or great wealth, of total surrender - completely in faith, completely in love – taking only what we need and giving the rest to those who are without, and giving ourselves completely to God.

If we follow Jesus example in this season of giving by giving ourselves completely as Jesus gave himself, knowing that it will be painful at times, uncomfortable at times, it may even result in physical death – looking with faith at the blessings that it will provide – the gifts of the manger and the cross will only grow more precious to us.

Jesus' giving – his sacrifice - was not without pain. Jesus' giving and Jesus faith should be the measure of our giving – the difference between offering and sacrifice. An offering we give out of our wealth. A sacrifice comes with pain, loss, or inconvenience.

The verb sacrifice means, "To suffer loss of, give up, renounce, injure, or destroy especially for an ideal, belief or end," or, "To sell at a loss".

Paul urges us:
". . . in view of God's mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship."

James reminds us:
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress. . ."

Jesus commanded us:
"Do not store up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in Heaven. . . For where your treasure is, there your heart is also."

The writer of the proverbs reminds us:
"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, "Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow" – when you now have it with you."

So I lobby for a national month long celebration! For the Church I pray that this becomes a lifelong celebration. Live a life of giving and of faith, it comes only with a promise of blessings. If we live with a sense of reckless abandon, shunning security and trusting God to provide for our needs we will come closer to God; we will see deeper depths of God's love and we will be the hands and feet of Jesus - spreading the good news that he was born to bring.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Rome is growing again. . .

i will preface with, i am NOT a republican. i will follow that statement with the following declaration. . . i am NOT a democrat. i am however entertained by the governmental process and even more so, the public's response to government.

WE ARE IDIOTS!

i have been listening to the press conference regarding the incoming administration's security council.

Let me shorten it's content for those of you with ADHD.

Blah, blah, blah, we are great. Blah, blah, blah, we have assembled the best team ever. Blah, blah, blah we are in unique times, but we are great. Blah, blah, blah we are great and we are focused on preserving the USA and other countries will monitor themselves. Blah, blah, blah we are going to send our forces into other countries to fix their problems for them, because their problems are our problems. Blah, blah, blah. . .

We eat this crap up!! Did anyone else actually listen to this? Sometimes i think the public at large just watches governmental press conferences with the volume down.

We are not in anymore unique times than we have ever been in. The only difference in our "unique" times is that they are happening now and we are involved. So far this administration is uniquely the same. The formalities are the same, the lingo is the same, the rhetoric is the same (all of this so far). . . Where is the change?
i guess that i expected real change (which may still happen), not just different decisions. So far it is looking to me like someone who knew how to throw out slogan's and statements that would get the people inspired (and how hard is that given the current administrations competence! Does it surprise us any that ambitious people say what they have to say in order to meet their own goals. . .

Ooh! Gotta go, Obama is now back tracking on what he said about Clinton during the campaign, vs. his statements justifying his choice of her as Secretary of State. . .

This could be good.